Becoming an expert in testing without working hard and in 8 simple steps
The experts with whom you may interact in forums and on blogs, paint a picture of an expert that makes you believe you need hundreds of years of experience to actually become one. Trust me; they are trying to fool you to help them retain their own status as experts.
You see people like James Bach talking about skills like cognition, lateral thinking, confusion as a good thing, and other blah blah blah, making you think that a tester is a superman who needs to test software at the Andromeda Galaxy within microseconds before the galaxy is sucked by a black hole. Next on target is the other guy, what’s his name? Ah, Michael Bolton, who travels around the world teaching Rapid Testing pretending as though it needs some mental martial arts practice to become a Rapid Tester.
I have been their student and I can safely tell you that what they teach doesn’t make you an expert tester. In many worst cases I have witnessed, it has made their audience, student of testing craft forever. The world could have had many experts today but experts like those mentioned above have ensured that only they retain the status.
Who wants to be a student of the testing craft when there is an option to become an expert? I went to those guys wanting to be an expert and they converted me to a student of the craft. Guess they were afraid of my ability to overrule them as an established expert in this field. Luckily, the most important thing about their training was to use brains, question and test. Use lateral thinking skills and read books like Blink and study general systems thinking. I used the skills I gained from it and escaped from being a student. I am glad to announce to the world through this blog post that I am an established expert. It’s been years since I talked to them and I feel happy about it.
So, what’s my expertise?
I am an expert who introduced the Black Viper Testing Technique & Selphar Box of techniques for testers to this world. Needless to say that without the BVTT & Selphar Box of Techniques (short form: SelBox Testing) testers all across the globe would have not found many bugs.
My current area of research is Rhino Hunt Testing. When I shared the area of research on twitter, some experts got jealous of me and tried misguiding me asking if I was researching on One Horn Rhino or Two? Then another expert chipped in to misguide me further by asking if the One Horned Rhino was male or female?
For the context of this article, my new expertise is to help people become experts without having to work hard. Unlike James or Michael, you are in safe hands.
Pre-requisite
- You must have worked as a tester for a couple of years with some big companies like Microsoft, Google, IBM, Infosys, Wipro, CTS (whatever)
- You must have a blog
- You must be on an interview panel for your organization or you interview testers
- You could also be a testing coach or trainer.
Step 1:
Once you have that…
Think about an animal or a bird type which is not yet used in testing, be it White Mamba, Giraffe, Elephant, Blackbuck, Spoon bill, Parakeet, Dolphin…
If you want to be more imaginative, you may want to think of insects or reptile families like Spider, Tarantula, Gnat, House Fly, Mosquito – Dengue type, Mosquito – Chikun Gunya type…
Note: Monkey, Guerilla, Snake and Rhino are already in use and introduced by other experts. Don’t copy or if you want to, please owe them necessary credits.
Step 2
Once you fix upon an animal, bird or an insect in mind start to think about the connection between them and testing and form a new technique.
Suggestion / Tip based on experience: It is at this moment, you must start making notes.
For example:
If you are going to think about spider, you can think of a technique where testers behave like a spider, first weaving the web (tests) and then waiting for the bugs to be caught on it, while staying at the centre. Once in a while when there are enough bugs to report, the tester moves from the centre and captures those bugs. If the web is destroyed, move on to make another web.
Note: Don’t use the above published example. Someone may google and find out that you are a fake expert.
Step 3
Write a lengthy explanation of your technique and use words and terms that confuses the reader. For example use words like: Neil Bhors effect, indemnification against ramification, trapezium syndrome, Wurtz Fittigs reaction… that are not often used and even if Googled, people can’t understand what it means.
Experience based tip: If you are married, ask your spouse to read it, and if you hear, “Honey, this is awesome”, you are publishing ready.
Step 4
Publish it on your blog
Most important note: You shouldn’t do the marketing for your blog post.
Step 5
Ask all those testers whom you interview if they know the technique you published in your blog post and reject them if they didn’t. Do this over a period of six months to at least about 100 testers.
Now what those 100 testers will do is to first go Google your technique and try understanding your blog post. As you have obfuscated it, no one would get it, so they would ask experienced testers and experts in forums and groups that claim to discuss testing. The ego of experienced testers and so called experts wouldn’t let them say, “I don’t know this” but instead, they would offer their own explanations to it.
Step 6
Apply to testing jobs and attend interviews. If the interviewer is asking you to explain your own animal / insect / bird technique to you, tell to yourself, “Congratulations!”
Step 7
Quit your job and start writing to conference program chairs telling them you would be willing to do a half day or a full day tutorial on this famous technique. Say it was the “Snake in the Eagle’s shadow technique” you introduced, you could do a one day tutorial and charge as much as what ISTQB training costs.
Some conferences will give you a chance to keynote and from there you are a hero.
Step 8
Consider publishing a book with your technique. Hang out with other bloggers at conferences, buying them beer and tweet saying, “I am meeting @this_tester and he is so cool” or “This guy is one hell of a tester”. They would be so pleased that they would go back and write blog posts on your keynote and technique.
That’s all. No rocket science. By the way, this actually works. Have you been interviewed and been asked about the Monkey, Guerilla, Rhino, Snake, Yellow, Blue, White, Black?
Oops, I left my one horned male mutated rhinocerous testing technique research midway. I am speaking at CAST 2011 and hope to catch you all there. Apparently, James was the Conference chair and he didn’t give me the keynote.
WOW! experience
Brilliant! Lol and in fact, I have learnt a lot. Many thanks!
I have the prerequisites, I worked for IBM…
Also many of the steps there…
I will take your idea with the animal also!
)
Introducing the Drunken Monkey Fuzz Blitz Testing Technique.
An effective Drunken Monkey Fuzz Blitz Tester starts testing even before a product is delivered. This tester’s major skill involves a million monkeys with a million keyboards on one hand and (insert favorite beverage here) on the other hand.
Even Chuck Norris with think twice before crossing the path of a Drunken Monkey Fuzz Blitz Tester.
I have now seen the error of my ways. Inspired by Pradeep, I am now promulgating the Perspicacious Ant model. It’s a syncretic, synthetic, syntactic, synecdochalist, syndromic, synaptic synopsis of testing (although I’m not yet ready to post it on my blog, because my wife thinks it merely adequate and showed signs of understanding what I meant). I’ve developed a WordPress plugin to captcha (get it?!) people who ask about the model on LinkedIn, and am waiting for Curtis, Tony, and others to explain it on my behalf (because, to be honest, I can’t make head or tail of it myself). I’ll be giving it an official launch (or lunch; I can never get those two straight) at the Software Testing United Nations (STUN) conference, which runs from August 21 through October 5 in New Rochelle this year. Can’t wait to see Pradeep there.
—Michael B.
OUCH!!!!! This is going to a hurt a lot of experienced testers..
However, are we sure this is exactly what the fakes expert testers do?
If we look at the quality innovators, each of them devised a concept –
Some of the names are –
Frederick Herzberg, Joseph M. Juran, W. Edwards Deming, Kaoru Ishikawa
Geniche Taguchi, Philip Crosby, Tom DeMarco, Howard Rubin, Leon Ellsworth, William Perry, Michael Fagan, Barry Boehm.
Does your post mean, that just because they are different, they are all fake? WOW!!
How about sharing some names for such fake expert testers? I am not aware of any such fake expert testers who are able to fool the industry.. Are you?
I’m #BAT & #darkside certified too – aren’t you?
(http://blog.softwaretestingclub.com/2011/04/how-come-you-are-not-certified/)
As a fellow expert and the inventor of DDI law I agree to this, Google “DDIL defecto” to know more about this law.
-Dhanasekar S
@ Jo, Sebi,
Thanks.
@Perze,
I got to apply that to my next project and will tell its value. Want me to write a blog post about it? You know, step 8 helps
@Michael,
Your explanation towards Perspicacious Ant model appears that you seem to be on track. Feel free to get in touch with me if you need any help. I usually don’t charge such dedicated students like you.
@Gaurav,
Fake is the old and new reality in testing business.
Excellent Article. One of the best. Pradeep’s done it again.
Nice piece of Parody on the so called experts!
What should i say? I was awed by looking at the title of the post. I knew from the very begining that it’s written by a critic because a post like this and “softwaretestingclub” are mutually exclusive
The very moment i was done by 1st paragraph i guessed it’s none other Pradeep. I put a bet on my guess and continue my reading. When i read “Black Viper Testing Technique” i had already won the bet as Pradeep had mentioned it in another post of him 
Later i just checked the author name to appreciate my deja vu on Pradeep’s writing. I am becoming a fan and bulb and CFL and AC (much more to become in coming days) of him. He knows every tit and bit of the craft called TESTING (Mind it software testing is just a part of testing)
A most excellent post. I’m a fan for life
Developing my Crouching Tiger, Hidden Paradigm Testing Technique as we speak. Of course there are already questions about it in Stack Overflow, Quora and Yahoo Answers.
Good one Pradeep. Will definitely make a lot of people sit up & rethink before throwing around new terms.
@Sharath, @Arvind,
Thanks folks.
@Prabhath,
Yo! Being my fan shouldn’t blind you from the mistakes I might make.
@Jonathan Ross,
BTW, I just finished the Rhino stuff. Looks like Rhino’s aren’t interesting me further. I am planning to work on the Night Fury attacking technique
Crouching Tiger is an old technology. I prefer the stealthy coprophilia method of testing.
This is absolutely hilarious Prad, how do you come up with such sarcasm writing, I could think of that but to put it in words and publish take lot of guts and only you can do it..appreciate that honesty. Great piece!! Enjoyed it thoroughly!!
@ Gekkor,
You appear to be way too futuristic to what our industry can handle
@ Neha,
Thanks. I am glad to know you liked it very much. I hope to meet the expectations of my readers in future, too. Wishes definitely matter.
This is excellent piece of humor, however I feel that you have to have some concrete skills to be a testing trainer, just doing BLAH BLAH BLAH can help you to grow for sometime but after that you will fall like HUMPTY DUMPTY, you can’t stay there for long. I believe even Pradeep agrees with it, I have seen your blog which has some great content and great content doesn’t come with just doing BLAH BLAH BLAH….
Mad testing………
@ Manish,
Blah Blah works. Unfortunately, not for people like you and me but hundreds or maybe thousands out there.
Great One Prade!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No words to say, as usual u r crazyyyyy man…. Nice article
Then that’s pretty cool…..I think even we have a good future now….
…..we can learn how to do lot of BLAH BLAH as others do and can join those hundreds and thousands…as they are the one who are defining new test techniques and methodologies…..once we get in there we will define few more 
. don’t you think it’s cooooool.
Nice piece of work Pradeep, I am fan of your writing and have taken inspiration from your thought process. ..
Now I am thinking of working on model called ‘Kingfisher’s fishing technique for Testing’ (with due permission from Mr. Vijay Mallya :p )
Keep writing..
@Abhishek,
On a serious note, you can actually learn something from the way Kingfisher catches fish.
Thanks for your comment, though. I appreciate you took time to tell that you are my fan. I missed out Step 9 and that is: When someone appreciates, act humble.
Cool post and adding step 9 makes it even more cooler
Wow!
You see the code!!!
It’s really nice that you share your wisdom with us!
Now we can all become experts.
that was awesome
was haven’t read anything like it before, real funny too:-)
Brilliant, well done, but you have an error in your grammar somewhere in this piece
…
@Micheal Bolton I am sure we will all be Stunned after the lunch… but be careful your new method just doesn’t become known as the S factor.
@Colm,
I am glad to note I have “an” error in grammar somewhere in this piece. I am sure Michael Bolton would be happy to hear that too because a couple of years ago, he used to find where I got my grammar partially right anywhere in all pieces I wrote.
Also, if you could point it out to me, it helps
Thanks for liking it though.
This is the second funniest Testing article I’ve read recently after James Bach tried to help a girl in Ghana get her gold back: http://www.satisfice.com/blog/archives/705
‘Write a lengthy explanation of your technique and use words and terms that confuses the reader.‘
This is how books for the Testing certification exams are written.
Pradeep thanks for the information it will definitely help for the freshers who are in software testing field as well as for the experienced people too.
Thanks & Regards
Rakesh Nijhawan